Backpahe Etiquette: Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

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This is especially applicable when you’re seeing a new guy from Backpage and all your friends suddenly take an immediate interest in the intricate details of your everyday life. “Has he called?” “When are you guys going out again?” “What did he say?” “How did you feel when he said that?”, and the list goes on. You start receiving five calls a day demanding updates on the latest. And these aren’t fair weather friends or frenemies that you can just blow off, but honest-to-goodness BFF’s. These are the real deal. You owe it to them to provide.

It’s not like I don’t understand where they’re coming from by any means. What’s more interesting, the same ole’ rigamarole or finding out the new juice? There’s new conversations to discuss in minute detail and new behaviors to analyze every which way. There’s plenty of work to be done, and why should they be left out? They want to share in the fun too. I’m exactly the same way when the tables are turned.

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It’s just that nowhere is safe; all mediums are fair game for coming at you: person-to-person, cell phones, emails, instant messages. You can be engrossed in whatever important task you’re doing at work, (i.e. reading your sign’s astrological love compatibility with another’s for the umpteenth time), and BAM, in comes the new message. “Tell me EVERYTHING. NOW.”

It gets problematic because sometimes you just don’t feel like sharing EVERYTHING. If a date went well, you may just want to savor the details privately for a little bit before spreading them out into the world. And if a date went bad, then of course you’ve already analyzed every little detail anyway. (I prefer to use the word “analyze”, though some may find “ruminate” to be more appropo.) Once you hear, “Well, he’s skating on thin ice if you ask me!”, issues you’ve already resolved become less and less certain. New twists and takes on certain situations pop up. Before you know it, you’re right back at square one where you started.

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In my friends’ defense, I will say that their advice has saved the day on more than one occasion. One time I had gotten a really nice text message from a guy I was seeing, and I responded with “Thanks for the text, :0)”. I thought my response was perfectly acceptable, but apparently it was far from it, even with the smiley face. I was “closing doors” rather than “opening them.” I was basically saying, “Yeah, thanks buddy. Now leave me alone.”, rather than responding in-kind. Thank goodness I was immediately reprimanded by my friends and was able to fix the situation before any serious damage was done.

After my text message faux pas,  I was placed on probation under strict supervision. Every text and email I wrote had to be signed off on and approved PRIOR to being sent. Let’s just say it was a while before I could be trusted again. 

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Now I know I shouldn’t complain. I should be thankful for the great friends that I have, and I am. But if you can’t talk a little smack in your personal anonymous blog, then where can you? It’s not like anyone from my job is reading this and knows who I am or anything.

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